With Valentines Day cruising right on by I am reminded of a talk I heard on giving your heart away. The speaker illustrated his view on love and suggested that rather than the perspective of “giving your heart away”, why not keep it, and, “make space” for them in your heart instead?
I LOVE THIS concept! And it is something I have adopted. Here is my version of this story.
Making Space: A Love Story.
I met a handsome guy. We “hugged it out” (because I hug everyone I meet) and we hit it off! Awesome! I felt a connection so I decided to let him into my heart… but not my whole heart! I welcome him in offering only the space of the meditation cushion I have designed JUST for him. Pretty SWEET, right!?
After he visits a few times I am shown by his actions that he really takes care of the space and totally digging my style for his meditation cushion! My trust in him grows so I decide I am going to give him a couch! After all! We both work hard and sometimes we really just like to just Netflix + Chill! A couch is waaaay more comfortable for that!
One day, I realize that I really like hanging out with him… like REALLY like hanging out with him. Of course the feeling is mutual because we are both awesome people! So… I decide I am going to make more space for him in my heart by giving him a condo! I let him decorate it however he wants, including having the latest’s Nintendo, PlayStation, and/or Xbox! Because lets face it! I am pretty independent and need my alone time from time to time! Moving on!
Some time goes by, we are having fun and talking about the future. My heart swells with so much love that it makes space to build him a mansion with a lake/ocean hybrid in the backyard for him to fish, jet ski, or ponder life’s mysteries!
I look around in awe of the space I have created and have entrusted to this person. Everything is beautiful! And I feel amazing as I take in the love all around me.
But then something happens.
It wasn’t planned.
I never saw it coming.
…We break up.
He moves out of house I built for him.
Anger fills my being and start trashing the place!
I tear down pictures!
I smash anything and everything!
And then I set the house on fire!
As I watch the house blaze up in smoke, I can feel the rise and fall of my chest as tears stream down my face. I think about the space I made for him. And I feel the void.
Although he has moved out of my heart, there is still this space that was left behind. So what now do I do with this space?
Its not like the space goes back to where it started. To become what it was it had to grown and to be stretched and molded!
I clean up the broken pieces and ash and build something beautiful and healing in its place. Not to cover up where he had been or the hurt I felt, but to celebrate my capacity to love! For my courage to love!
Maybe I build the dopest dance floor!
Maybe I build radest water park!
Maybe I build the SWEETEST sound healing temple made with sacred geometry and crystal walls!
I build it to celebrate this beautiful space that represents my capacity to love and to love so, so, BIG! So that when I look across the landscape of my heart it is filled with beauty, and gratitude!
Eventually, it will happen again. I will meet someone new. He will be cute. We will hug it out… and I give it another shot. I will feel enough of a connection with him to make space in my heart. I will invite him in to sit on a meditation cushion made just for him. And with time, I will gain the confidence through his actions to make a little more space… and then a little more. Opening myself up little by little, to experience the most courageous thing any of us can ever do, LOVE.